'viva en el momento hija..'

    so i finally had the talk with my señora.. something i've been scared to bring up for the two months i've been here: her husband, Dario's, death. i knew he passed away 13 years ago, but i finally had an opportunity in which to bring up the conversation and get to know my señora a little bit better, without prying. we've become really, pretty close the past few weeks and she even took me to a 5 star hotel to have breakfast last weekend. i don't remember how it came up, but she told me detail for detail the story behind her husband's death: an aneurysm, the morning she woke to find her husband's face seemingly paralyzed, the 8 months he spent in a coma.. only to then pass away. she said there were a few times when she knew he was with her and her family because one time one of her daughters came to the hospital and said to her father: dame un beso (give me a kiss) which then he pursed his lips as if to blow a kiss. later over christmas they brought Dario to their house just to form a sense of normalcy for the family and to celebrate the holidays in their home. she told me he has a sense of a smile upon arrival and dropped his head as they left. she was married to him for almost thirty years when he passed away.

    this isn't the only tragedy my señora has faced. she once had 4 children, and now she only has 3. when her twin boys were just 13 her family discovered that one had leukemia. he had pains one night before going to bed, so the next day they took him to the doctor to discover that it was tumor. they traveled to Madrid and one other treatment center.. and finally decided to operate to see what they could do. during the surgery the removed part of the tumor to do some  experiments, when something happened to the tumor and it expanded. (remember, this is all understood in spanish, so this was one of her more complicated stories) she said at the funeral for her child, there was nothing like seeing his twin suffering in pain over his lost brother. 

    this still isn't even where her pain stops. one of her friends also suffered an aneurysm when she was with her (who luckily survived and returned back to normal - gracias a dios.) and her mother who lived with me the first month and a half i was here, is now needing constant care at the age of 89 and is growing weaker and weaker every day. she essentially is having to sit and watch her mother pass away as well.

    the point of this blog post isn't to write a sob story about my señora, or make anyone feel bad for her. it's to awaken anyone who reads it to appreciate how lucky we have it. when you think you've had a bad day, think of people like my spanish madre, Gracia. at the end of our conversation we talked about her faith and i asked her how she remained faithful. she told me it's been very hard but she still 'tries to follow the world' as she put it. she also told me 'viva en el momento hija,' - live in the moment. she couldn't tell me anything more than that. if someone in this world has been through as much as she has, we should all appreciate the blessings that have been given to us. although you can tell by looking at her that she has had much pain in her life, she diligently remains busy playing tennis, tutoring, and enjoys being a care-taker. i cried with her today as she told me her life story, giving thanks for all the blessings in my life as i hugged her tightly. 

meg